Amira (pseudonym) is seven months pregnant. In this state, this Sudanese woman began an unknown journey. War is all around. There are no hospitals or pharmacies left in the city. There is only panic and uncertainty from the sound of gunfire.
Sudan’s paramilitary Rapid Support Forces (RSF) have captured Amira’s town of N’Nahud in West Kordofan state. The only way out for her is to flee the city. In this situation, Amira prayed, even while pregnant, ‘May my child not be born this time.’
Last May, Amira faced a terrifying experience while crossing one of the most active war zones in Sudan. She recounted it in a recorded audio diary.
At that time, the road out of the city was dangerous because the RSF had captured N’Nahud. However, she had no other way to save herself or her unborn child. The Sudanese army and the RSF have been wreaking havoc on civilians for more than two years. Now, South Kordofan has become a frontline. That is the route Amira took to escape.
While fleeing, Amira recorded an audio diary. The diary was provided to the BBC by the global campaign group Avaaz (AVAAZ). The BBC later spoke to her by phone in Kampala, the capital of Uganda, where she is waiting to give birth.
Describing the circumstances of her escape, Amira said, “There are no hospitals or pharmacies in the city. I was afraid that if I delay any longer, there might not be any cars. Traffic had almost stopped. What there was was incredibly difficult and very expensive.”
Starting the journey at gunpoint
Amira had problems from the start of her journey. She said that the RSF and their collaborators were controlling everything.
Amira’s husband somehow rented a truck to escape from N Nahud. The trouble started as soon as they got on the truck. The driver was a member of the RSF. He had rented the truck to another young man at the same time. This led to an argument between the driver and the young man.
Amira said, “The driver immediately pulled out a gun and threatened to shoot the young man. Everyone was trying to stop him, even the RSF companion who was with him. The young man’s grandmother and mother, crying, held the driver’s leg and begged him not to shoot. We, the passengers, froze in fear.”
Amira added, “I felt like if he shot, he would kill not one but many people. Because he was smoking marijuana and drunk.”
Finally, the driver put the gun away but dropped the young man and his family off at En Nahude. Amirad’s journey began with them. Even then, the journey was full of anxiety. The potholed road, the truck full of luggage and 70 to 80 people crammed together, the constant risk of crossing small ravines and the scorching sun overhead—all combined to make for a restless journey. Mothers clutched the car with one hand, holding their children with the other.
Amira said, “I was scared the entire journey. I was praying that my baby wouldn’t come into the world at this time. I just wanted everything to be okay.”
The fear was endless
Finally, the Amiras reached El-Fula, the capital of West Kordofan. But the soldiers were entering this city as well. That’s why the Amiras didn’t want to stay there for long.
In her audio diary, Amira recorded, “I didn’t know what would happen if the soldiers entered El-Fula. Because the soldiers, especially the Bagaras, started targeting people from certain ethnic groups, including the Rizeigats. The soldiers thought that people from this ethnic group were linked to the RSF.
In the audio diary, Amira said that her husband was from such a community. Although he has no connection with the RSF. He works in the government, he studied law. But now nothing is taken into account. People are being targeted only because of their ethnicity.
The United Nations has said that allegations of extrajudicial killings of civilians in custody against the Sudanese armed forces are credible. The army has dismissed these as the “personal” crimes of some members. Earlier this year, army chief Abdel Fattah al-Burhan formed a committee to investigate allegations of human rights abuses.
Checkpoints, bribes and broken cars
Kordofan, which consists of three states, has now become a major battleground. The region is crucial to Sudan’s war, as it is a strategic hub for important oil fields and major transport routes.
The involvement of other militias alongside the RSF, especially the powerful SPLM-N, has intensified the violence. It has created a serious humanitarian crisis. This has made it almost impossible for aid groups to deliver aid.
It took Amira three days to reach the South Sudan border from El-Fula. During this time, they had to change vehicles several times. And there were obstacles along the way.
“The RSF drivers decided who would go, where they would sit, how much they would pay,” Amira said.
There were checkpoints every 20 minutes along the way, Amira said. At each checkpoint, a mandatory bribe had to be paid. However, they had already hired RSF members as companions.
Food prices were very high there. There was a water shortage. In a village called El-Huzayra, they were able to connect to the internet using RSF’s Starlink device, but it was quite risky.
Amira said, “You have to be careful when you go online. If the RSF members hear you watching an army video, playing a song, or even just mentioning RSF in words, you will be arrested.”
The roads along Amira’s journey were dilapidated. The car kept breaking down. The car broke down three times on the journey. Once, the car tire burst in the jungle. At that time, the most terrible conditions were created. There was no water. On top of that, no one around was willing to help.
Amira said, “I really thought that I would never be able to reach anywhere again. I would die here. I gave up. I only had a blanket, and I spread it on the ground and lay down. That day, I really felt like this was my end.”
But it was not over. Amira and her husband finally moved forward, riding a pickup truck loaded with vegetables.
The Struggle to Cross the Border
Finally, the next day, the Amiras reached the South Sudanese border in Abyei. But the road was filled with mud due to rain. They were in a car loaded with oil barrels. The car was sinking in the mud again and again.
The journey was stopped again and again in the rain and mud. The car loaded with barrels got stuck in the mud. Their clothes were soaked. The bags were already ruined by dust and heat, but now they were completely soaked. The Amiras were shivering in the cold. They prayed that they would reach safely.
Finally, Amira and her husband reached Juba, the capital of South Sudan, about 1,300 kilometers away from N Nahud. From there, they took a bus to Kampala, the capital of Uganda. After a difficult journey of thousands of miles, they found temporary shelter.
Shelter in Uganda, heart in Sudan
Amira’s relatives are still in Sudan. She spends her days in that worry. In addition, she is worried about becoming a mother for the first time.
Amira says, “I am very scared about giving birth. Because this is the first time, and my mother will not be there. There will be only my husband and a girlfriend. Everything is so messy, so chaotic—I can’t handle it.”
Amira is a women’s rights and pro-democracy activist. She worked with the emergency relief team during the war. The soldiers looked at them with suspicion, and some were even arrested.
Amira says, “I was afraid of the soldiers. Because they would take away the young people. Even when the RSF came, the situation did not improve. They looted and raped. They did what the soldiers did, no less. Both sides are the same.”
The RSF, however, says that they do not target ordinary people. They deny the accusations of ethnic cleansing, saying that these are just communal conflicts. Both sides (government forces and RSF) have denied the accusations of war crimes.
The biggest challenge and joy for Amira now is becoming a mother. But will she ever be able to return to Sudan with her child?
Amira said, “I hope that one day the war in Sudan will stop and the situation will improve. But not everything will be the same as before. But at least people will not die in vain.”
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